Tuesday, December 14, 2010

There's one in every workplace

The Did you get that Thing I sent you? Guy.
How the interwebs have changed our lives. I don’t even have to step outside to go shopping, speak to friends and family, share precious memories captured on film, even order a pizza. In the workplace, email prevents me having to go to the other side of the school/building/room/desk to talk to people.



But there are people who abuse that power, using email like a magical ninja would use time wasting ninja stars (think about it. It's only a matter of time).

Here’s a picture of a cat! Here is the background to the picture of a cat story! Wow, this story about the man who had his finger bitten off by a crocodile but still plays the banjo is inspiring! Oh look, a whole list of reasons why men are better than women/women are better than men/cars are better than turtles! READ THEM ALL!!! I CRAVE ATTENTION!!!

If the email is relevant to only ten percent of the organisation, they will send it to everyone. With a background that takes up half of your email usage.

However, it doesn’t stop there.  Then three other people send replies to the email, but of course they can’t just reply to the sender, THEY REPLY ALL!!!
Usually leaving people with actual work to do reduced to this:




5 hours to answer a question guy
You just needed to get some envelopes and then you miss your lunch and end up staying after work for an hour just to get to the point:




Oversharer
Aaaallll you wanted to was have your lunch in the staff/break room. And they start. First the conversation is relatively innocent, then it turns into their child’s nappy contents/medical issues/favourite sexual positions/fight they had with their partner. And you are halfway through your sandwich with no justifiable excuse to leave:



The Questioner
"Whatcha doing? Where you going? What’s happening on the weekend? Where did you get that? What you eating? Whatcha thinkin? Why are you leaving?”

Running but never getting anything done person:
Where are they going? Why are they always in a rush? How come nothing is completed?
Like looking serious and holding a clipboard = achievement?

The random angry guy:
The random angry guy is a time bomb waiting to go off. He is one of those pop caps. You turn it over and wait forever. Then nothing happens and you think it’s safe and go to inspect it and it bashes in your face.
Some things that may set of Random Angry Guy:
-          THIS PERSON HAS NOT REPLIED TO MY EMAIL! I SENT IT 42 SECONDS AGO!! I AM SURROUNDED BY INCOMPETENCE!!
-          YOU MEAN TO EARN MONEY FOR EMPLOYMENT, I MUST COMPLETE TASKS IN A TIMELY AND COMPETENT MANNER? SLAVE DRIVING BASTARDS!!
-          EVERYONE IS NOT AGREEING WITH ME!! SO WHAT IF MY OPINIONS AND IDEAS ARE CONVOLUTED AND LACK LOGIC??


Of course, this is a very short list. The random angry guy could go off at anytime, over anything:


What other types are in your workplace?

4 comments:

A misinterpreted wave said...

Other types - the manipulative sociopath. One who deliberately says things and watches the reaction of the normal people and then whinges that 'said' reaction is ridiculous.

Jadore said...

We have the one that is constantly trying to turn everyone into a "family" (her words) with weekend picnics, dinner and movie nights.. Nice idea on the face of it but no thanks.

remember orbeli said...

Oh my gosh. You are positively trying to ruin my life by making me laugh hysterically in an office of ten people and then one of them (The Interjecter/Interrupter) will invariably ask what I am laughing at and then MY LIFE IS OVER because I will kill them in a frenzy of rage. Happy now? Lol, best post ever perhaps, esp. since I work with ALL of those people

Antarian said...

Chris - That deserves a WHOLE other post!

Jadore - I know EXACTLY what you mean, the Overactive Socialiser is the person with no friends at home so try and force their collegies into social interaction. They are so annoying!!

Lucia - Mwa haha ha ha.. my plan is underway