In my completely objective and logical mind - it is the only reason I can think of for waking up and finding this:
A SHOPPING TROLLEY!!!!!
Obviously, they realised that I have begun to feel guilt about my lack of house pride, and they read my blog (one of my almost forty hits - taking over the internet, forty people at a time) (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, see here) and sensed my fear of being percieved as a crack dealer. So they took the blatantly conspicuous final step - a discarded shopping trolley.
Everyone KNOWS crack dealers have front yards full of trolleys.
After a short show down with the trolley:
(To understand the seriousness of the following battle, please listen to the music in the attached scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX3KsHDZ1sE)
Da da da da da da da da da da da
De de de de de de de de de DE DE
Then the shame overtook me and I weeded the garden. So now we look respectable.
Well played faceless neighbours, well played.
(I am under the impression that none of my neighbours have faces. Their heads are always turned away or they stand in front of the sun so they are blocked. It's a freaking horror movie) (Except for the guy over the road, he has a face and looks like the Colonel from KFC. But that is the house that V and I suspect are the drug dealers I mentioned last time, so that guy is working with a whole other set of secret herbs and spices).
I was actually going to come on here and tell you about the time tacos tried to kill me, but I had to inform you all of the unstable nature of the current situation.